Attn: Married women/men...A woman sends MY husband flowers at his work...We just found out who did it...?

Someone sent my husband (of 10 years) flowers at his work, the card said %26quot;An old friend from high school wants to wish you a Merry Christmas, XXXXXXXX%26quot;. Well, after a week of not knowing who they were from, my husband found out today after harrassing the flower shop. Turns out she is someone we both know, having went to school with her 15 years ago in our SMALL town. We both just saw her a few weeks ago at a local restaurant. He always felt like she had a crush in school and I could see her flirty ways on the few occasions we were ever around her. My question is, now that I know who she is what should I do? I want to handle this with class and not just call her and cuss, scream and threaten her. My husband brought these flowers home directly to me the day he got them. He has also assured me he had done nothing to provoke this. I thought about sending her some %26quot;thank you%26quot; flowers and signing the card with MY name but I want to see what YOU think....Thanks!!

Attn: Married women/men...A woman sends MY husband flowers at his work...We just found out who did it...?
Send her a thank you card stating that %26quot;John and I enjoyed the flowers. thank you from BOTH of us%26quot; That way she knows that you have found out that she sent them and that he did not keep them a secret from you.
Reply:I think the best way to do it with class would be to simply ignore it. Because when you start to react in ANY way, that is all she needs. Ignoring the issue would be a polite way to show her that her gesture was the inappropriate one. (After all, she could of have sent it home to your husband, not to his place of work like he has something to hide!) The best thing to do would be to not react to her actions in any way by simply ignoring her. Because your reaction is all she thrives for.
Reply:Sounds like she%26#039;s in the same city as you? If so, when you both see her again, which it%26#039;s inevitable you will, your husband should say something like...%26quot;oh hey, thanks for the flowers, we really enjoyed them%26quot;, and move on to your destination. Put her on the spot, she%26#039;ll feel like a complete heal after he brings that up in front of you. In the mean time, give your hubby a big kiss and thank God every day for him, as men like that don%26#039;t come around very often. Some tend to get big heads and big ego%26#039;s. Sounds like he%26#039;s a classy guy, and you a classy woman.
Reply:She means nothing to your husband. Let it go. You will be glad you did in the longrun, and nobody will lose their job at the flower shop! Enjoy your flowers. If she tries to contact your husband again, you can say something then.





You have no problem here.....Happy New Year!
Reply:YES l agree with you. Don%26#039;t send her flowers but send her a thank-you card. Atleast then she will get the message that you know all about the flowers. If she was a half decent woman she would have sent the flowers to both of you. I would say that she was just testing the water to see what your husband would do. Atleast you know you can fully trust him. Good for you. Best of luck and Happy New Year to you both.
Reply:Ignore her. Don%26#039;t let her know he got them, don%26#039;t let her know what the reaction was.





Any sort of response will likely only encourage her, if she%26#039;s still %26quot;hung up%26quot; on your hubby.
Reply:yes if you want her to know so she wn%26#039;t continue on or do anything even more daring yet do it with class thats a good way you m entioned . send her thank you flowers with a note back and she will be aware that you both know. what you and he say in the card im sure you%26#039;ll think the right words up wink wink.
Reply:Wow, the female answers are all over the place, aren%26#039;t they?





As a guy, it seems to me that the responsibility to respond - if there is any - should come from your husband.





However, I wouldn%26#039;t do anything. It was a very dumb idea of hers to send a married man flowers for Christmas. It was, as the Brits say, %26quot;bad form.%26quot;





The best way to respond to bad form, in my humble opinion, is to ignore it, laugh at it, make fun of it, forget about it, but DON%26#039;T respond to it. Responding to it gives it validity. And, this very pathetic attempt at stirring up something does not merit a response.





(I%26#039;ll bet the poor woman is already embarrassed that she did it. Let her stew in her own juices - that would be the best punishment.)
Reply:i believe that you should send a thank you note with your name and your husbands... in that case she may see that your husband doesnt hide anything from you .. and that you guys know that it was her... so that the next time she has the intention of sending your husband something she%26#039;ll think twice about it... although their are some canniving women out there... but try to give her the benefit of a doubt .... if she gets out of hand and dare to take another advance at your husband ... then you AND your husband need to set her straight ... WITHOUT the cussing and all of that... like 2 civilized people.....


GOOD LUCK
Reply:I%26#039;m glad you decided to handle this with class!


Showing anger and vengeful outbursts only show how immature you would be, if you went %26#039;after%26#039; her.


Your idea of sending her flowers is actually a %26#039;great%26#039; idea.


But i think I would go %26#039;one step%26#039; further than that.


With the flowers you send her, also send a invitation to your house for dinner!


If she accepts (she might if she%26#039;s a weirdo), let her see how much you and hubby are in love, and in a very %26#039;classy%26#039; way you


can let her know he%26#039;s %26#039;not%26#039; available for loan..


But if she%26#039;s a normal human being, she won%26#039;t accept the invite


and will get the message loud and clear..


BUT be prepared if she does accept.


And handle it with %26#039;CLASS%26#039; a lot of class%26#039; (know what I mean).
Reply:Um. you have already handled this without class by harassing the flower shop people. Ignore it, and enjoy the flowers. She wrote nothing inappropriate on the card. Your husband has been upfront and honest (good man)...you are making a mountain out of a mole hill.





Do you want drama in your life...because you about to create it.
Reply:I%26#039;d send her a card with your signature and say thank you, I really enjoyed your flowers to my husband. Not necessary to send future flowers....
Reply:YEAH!!!!!





pay back 4 that!
Reply:i would take the flowers and march right up to her and hand them back. tell her he%26#039;s taken and just leave.
Reply:sending her flowers back is a good idea. make sure you tell her that you and your husband wish her a merry Christmas too.. make sure you included both of your names.. good luck!! and keep an eye on her.. don%26#039;t trust any one .. i am pretty sure that you have a good husband, treat him right...
Reply:girl i have been with my hubby 7 years and i would probably be ready to hurt the girl but i like your idea of sending her thank you flowers be sure to put my husband and i really enjoyed the flowers what a niece gift you gave us i think those words would slap her harder than any real slap so do it (it%26#039;s the classy way to handle her)
Reply:She certainly has some nerve, but you shouldn%26#039;t do anything. Your husband should set the record straight by telling her he is happily married. If she keeps harassing him she is clearly psycho and needs therapy. Good Luck!
Reply:ok, so this old crush that probably does not know that he is involved sends flowers to your husband, ok, maybe she even knows that you two are married but sent them as a meaningles gesture of old time friendship, nothing to get all hysterical about and threaten armageddon on her entire family tree





like you said, you wish to handle it in a classy way, and yes, your suggestion of sending her thankyou flowers is very classy





with those flowers put in a thankyou card signed by you and him and the kids as a family and include a family picture, nothing big, just a wallet sized picture





if she has any intentions other than being just friendly that should fix them right away, after all, you did mention that you guys went to school together in a small town, the dynamics of interrelations and friendships work much differently in a small town rather than a large city.





perhaps she just wanted to check up and catch up on old times, its been 15 years, maybe just a simple stop in and say hi kind of thing, you never really know
Reply:That is not a bad idea, but rationally, you may have to let it go. Unless she does something else, you may have to be the bigger person and let it go. If you want to prevent it from happening again, your husband will have to handle it, only because you should allow him to %26quot;be a man%26quot; and tell her that he has no intention of persuing her, he is uncomfortable with the gesture, he is happily married, but his wife (you) thought the flowers were beautiful, oh yeah, make sure it is a fairly public place. Hope this could help.
Reply:I%26#039;d send her a thank you note and state that you donated the flowers to the local nursing home or hospital and though it was a nice gesture, it was also a little bazarre that she would do that out of the blue. And then tell her that if she feels the need to send flowers again, in lieu of flowers to please make a donation in your husbands name to a local charity.
Reply:I understand your desire to get personally involved in this, but it will mean nothing to her. It would be best to let your husband handle things. Stay involved, but do so behind the scenes.
Reply:obviously she%26#039;s lonely %26amp; jealous . Leave her alone %26amp; next time tell him send them back, do not accept anymore, she%26#039;s trying to piss u off 4 some reason . Don%26#039;t paly her childish game . tell you husband if she does it again refuse them %26amp; keep sending them back tell the flower shop %26amp; tell them you don%26#039;t want anymore from her. if she keeps it up tell him file a police report for harrassment or have the police talk to her %26amp; make her stop. She needs to know he don%26#039;t want her %26amp; if he refuses them %26amp; files a report trust me she don%26#039;t want jail time
Reply:You should witness the phone call he makes to her to make it CLEAR and I mean crystal-clear that he is NOT interested and that he did speak to you about it. He should then hang up without any more discussion. Don%26#039;t even deal with her, it would only gratify her. She%26#039;s sad.
Reply:Well, my first reaction would be to send her a Thank You note, and tell her how much you enjoyed the flowers. But on second thought, I would just ignore it. Take the high road. Your husband apparently did nothing wrong, and did tell you right away, so no harm there. I totally understand the desire for some kind of revenge, or at least for her to know that YOU know, but it%26#039;s always better to be the lady.
Reply:Forget about it. Do nothing. Your husband told you everything. He should get bigtime kudos for that. Trust in him to deal with it. Show him the classy lady you can be. Becoming aggressive will show your insecurity about your relationship and that you can%26#039;t handle things you believe are out of your control. He obviously loves you. This woman is Jerry Springer low class, don%26#039;t go down to her level. Be the bigger person and all that.
Reply:Ignore it. She wasted her money sending flowers the man who only plans to come home to you.


Plus, it may not be what you think it is. I had a dear male friend who%26#039;s wife couldn%26#039;t handle a female friend in his life and she made my life hell with nasty notes and calls (I never sent him flowers lol honest) but I did send birthday presents, christmas presents, cards etc - like he and I did since childhood.


Bottom line - it%26#039;s not your place to say anything. If your husband felt the gift was inappopriate then he should be the one to politely call and make sure there are no mixed messages.
Reply:i would have my husband send her a note and it would go something like this:





Dear So and So,


Thank you for the flowers, however I would have to decline any further flowers or gifts from you out of respect for my wife and marriage. I certainly hope you understand and are not in anyway offended, for that is not my intention. My wife and I both agree that any further gestures would not be appropriate and I do hope you respect my steadfastness to my family. My wife and I do welcome you to feel free to contact us at our family email address www......





if she had any ill intentions (as she most likely did) this note should let her know exactly where she stands, more importantly where your husband stands. i would gather that your husband won%26#039;t be hearing from her any longer!! issue resolved, and the respect of your husband yourself and your marriage has been kept in tact.
Reply:Now that you know who it is just keep your composure and not say anything. That is just a bigger compliment knowing that you have found a great husband that other jealous women want. This give you even more reason to grab your husband by the hand and enjoy the rest of your life with him. When you see her around again grab him and plant a big kiss on him and make her even more jealous to know that those flowers meant nothing to him at all. Just smile and wave at her afterwards that will really piss her off cause she will see that meant nothing at all and that you know.



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